Friday 6 March 2015

Prob Soln Draft 1

The internet is quickly becoming an important part of our lives. Our way of living will never be the same again if the internet is absent in the daily activities we partake in. From mundane hustle and bustle such as texting our friends to complex activities such as stock broking, we can clearly see how dependent on the internet society has became.This over dependence has brought about many issues, ranging from spreading of false rumors to the increase risk of our personal information being vulnerable to online hackers.


One of the major problem experienced among the people in society is social media addiction. A person  is considered by Walker(2012) to be addicted to the social media if there exist a compulsion to use social media for hours. This is especially prevalent among the people in a country such as Singapore, where the internet is easily accessible and peer pressure does not improves the situation.


Being addicted to the social media may seem harmless to many, but there exist various problems this addiction will ultimately cause in due time . One of them is the lack of real communication among the people. Given how easily it is to communicate over social media platform due to the internet, there is no doubt that anti-social behaviour will develop among the people addicted to the social media. This will result in the lack of social skill among the people in society.


Another problem is that social anxiety might develop among the addicts. Rosen(2014) debated whether participating in social media activities is due to pleasure we gain or social anxiety. The fear that what we do on the social media might not garner popularity among our friends might ultimately lead to social media anxiety being developed is a growing problems in our society. This will lead to depression among the people and eventually lead to a weakening work force.
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Because People are currently too dependent social media platforms that will result in social media problems the government should promote awareness among the people, to look out for signs for social media addictions.


One solution already implemented by Singapore is the setting up of counselling centers for social media addiction. People are advised to reduce the usage of the social media, and are encouraged to partake in normal social activities such as picking up a new hobby, or maybe attending more social gathering instead of using the social media platforms for hours.This approach is not effective in solving this problem mainly because people are unaware that such a problem even exist. People are unaware that they are addicted to the social media platform. Even more people are unaware that spending too much time on the social media, like every other addiction, will bring about problems. Survey done shows that 72 percent of the people are unaware of such risk. And if the people believe that there is nothing wrong with themselves, how many of them will seek help?


One solution is that the government needs develop and implement campaigns to raise awareness among the people to look out for signs and symptoms of internet addiction. Such campaigns could be implemented via talks by professional counsellors in schools to raise awareness among the students. It could also be held in community centres for parents to look out for signs and symptom in the family. People need to know the risk and dangers of spending too much time on the internet. Prevention should be prefered over cure. If the people are able to release that they or their loved ones are exposed to the risk of social media addiction, they could slowly refrain from accessing the internet and social media platform. And if they are unable to do so, then they could seek help from counselling centers as mentioned above. This solution may still be ineffective. This is because the social media has become a intricate part of society. It is where people share their daily lives, their pride and joy. Having people admit that they are addict and request that their reduce their usage will seem like a tall order.


To conclude, social media addiction is a real and growing problem, especially in our society, where the internet is easily available. It is essentially for the government to implete solutions that should mainly raise awareness of the risk behind this addiction.

(713 words)


Walker, L 2012, What is social networking addiction? Retrived from
Rosen, L, Our social media obession. Retrived from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rewired-the-psychology-technology/201407/our-social-media-obsession

1 comment:

  1. 1. What do you like the best about the ideas in this essay? Be specific. (precise vocabulary, cohesive/linked ideas, clear/easy to follow discussion, convincing, effective reasoning/argument, well-developed ideas, well-supported topic sentences, understandable transitions, etc.)
    2. Is there a clear, narrowly-focused problem presented in the essay? Is it contextualized in the intro? Is it expressed well in the thesis?
    3. How well is the first solution described? How effectively is that solution evaluated?
    4. How well is the second solution described? Is it effectively connected to a positive outcome?
    5. Are there any ideas in the essay that need further development? Which parts of the essay require further elaboration?
    6. Does the writer effectively use outside source material to illustrate the problem and/or the solutions?
    7. What is your impression of the flow of the content?
    8. Are there any ideas in the essay that are not clear or that you find confusing? Underscore/ highlight these.
    9. Are the citations used in this essay appropriate? Are the reporting verbs effectively used? Does the reference list adhere to the APA guidelines?
    10. Can you give a couple specific suggestions for how the writer could most improve this essay?



    The ideas are very clear, and the discussion is easy to follow.
    Suggested solution is very well written and elaborated.
    You do not talk about the context being in Singapore until much later in the essay, perhaps you could add it in the first paragraph.
    In Paragraph 4, the link from social anxiety -> depression -> weakening work force is too fast, it might be better to elaborate slightly more.
    I don’t think you should use rhetorical questions. (I made the same mistake in my reader response)
    Conclusion can be longer.

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